Confessions of a Broken Heart
by xoxo-catzeyez-xoxo
Summary: Just a bunch of 'Happy Father's Day' cards and offers for the father. Like we really need them. We should stick a board up saying that our father ran away when he could."


**Another day, another oneshot!**

**This is another one that I wrote quite a while back and it's not as fluffy as 'Definitely Him' was. It's more Family/Comfort. I wanted to try something different.**

**So please review and tell me what you thought of it.**

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**Confessions of a Broken Heart**

She walked down the stairs with a solemn expression on her face, her arms crossed as if she were trying to shield herself. Her willowy blonde locks resting on her shoulders. She reached the last step down the spiral staircase and let a small, thin sigh escape her thin, pink lips. She walked through the hallway, her eyes focused as she entered the dining room. She scanned the room with her big, soft brown eyes, looking past the large pieces of art pinned up on the wall, disregarding the smell of the delicious breakfast being laid in front of her. Her eyes just rested on her family. Her mother, Darby Evans, was the older image of herself. She had the same blonde locks, but they were cut short in a sophisticated bob. Her eyes were as big and as brown as her daughters. Standing next to her mother was her twin brother, Ryan Evans, looking quite sharp in his black trousers, shirt and cap. His face was slightly pale and his eyes were a different colour, like blue crystals. The only resemblance she had with her twin was that she owned the same blonde hair as him.

They were seated at the very large table, a table that could fit a third of the world's hungriest children on it, but was only used for three lonely adults. She managed to walk down to the other end of the room and took a seat opposite her brother. She looked up at her fraternal twin brother and tried to give him a small smile. It was a simple gesture but she wasn't able to do it, because it meant so much more than that. It meant happiness and that was one thing this family lacked. She noticed that every time she took a look at her mother. She was a woman who was once content with her life, but was now afraid to get up and live every day.

I wait for the postman,

To bring me a letter.

The doorbell rang and she sat up in her seat, she looked over at her brother and his face had lit up as well. They waited for the next couple of sounds to come. The sound of the letterbox opening. The letters being thrown into the house. Then landing with a light thud on their 'welcome' mat. The two stared at each other again before jumping out of their seats and running towards the front door. She sighed and groaned as she watched her brother speedily overtake her and reach the front door before her. He bent down and picked up the stacks of letters that lay all over the floor. His blue eyes scanned them all carefully, searching for the one they all wanting so desperately to read.

"Anything?" She asked her brother. "Ry? Ryan?" She called his name, trying to get his attention. Ryan turned to look at his sister with disappointment in his eyes. Her face fell immediately.

"Nothing...nothing at all Sharpay." She winced as her recited her full name. "Just a bunch of 'Happy Father's Day' cards and offers for the father. Like we really need them. We should stick a board up saying that our father ran away when he could." Ryan spoke in monotone, and Sharpay knew that he was upset, she was upset as well. "It wasn't as if was going to send anything anyway." Ryan mumbled bitterly before stalking off, leaving Sharpay alone.

And I wait for the good Lord,

To make me feel better.

She felt herself tremble as she picked up the letters and looked through them, hoping that she would able to see what Ryan couldn't. But he was right. Just deals and offers and those never ending bills. Nothing from _him_. The 'him' she was referring to was her _loving_ father. The most _caring_ father who had abandoned them not too long ago, promising to stay in touch because he _loved_ them. Every year they waited for his letters. Every father's day. Every birthday. Every Christmas. They prayed and hoped every _day_ that he would somehow remember them, and decide to write to them, even if it was just to say hello. Sharpay felt the letter's fall out of her hands and listened as they fell on the floor, closing her eyes. Waiting for it to get better...but it never did.

All their friends were celebrating the day with their father's. Her boyfriend Zeke was having a cook-off with his father, just for fun. Chad had bought his father tickets to a boxing match and was accompanying him to it. Troy and his father were going to see the Lakers play their first basketball game of the season. Taylor and her sister Ria were taking their father out to a very expensive restaurant, using the money they worked hard for; just do they could treat their father to something nice. Martha had taken her father out to see one of his favourite indie artist's in concert. Kelsi had taken hers to the theater to watch a play they both loved. Gabriella had gotten onto a plane and flew out to San Diego just to go and see her father, even though her parents were divorced. Even Jason, whose father was doing time in jail, was having a good time with his father. All their friends were out having a good time and they weren't. It wasn't fair.

And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders,

Family in crisis that only gets older,

Why'd you have to go? (x3)

Sharpay's shoulder's sagged as she dragged herself up the stairs, feeling as if she was holding up the world with her shoulders. She entered her room and fell back on her bed. She wished that he never left, that he was still here. She wished that she hadn't been such a spoilt brat when she was younger, that was what drove him away in her mind. It was all her fault, she should've been the one to leave, and she knew that her family would've been better off without her. Now all they did was cry every single year, mourn every single year. The hurt was never going to fade away. It was beginning to get old now. All of her friends had advised her to just forget about her father, there was no point in remembering someone who was never there in the first place. All she asked in return was 'why'd he have to go?' She could've gotten less bratty but why'd he have to go? Sometimes she wished that she could find him, wherever he was, and ask him 'why'd you have to go?' Sharpay closed her eyes and imagined talking to him. Daughter to father.

Daughter to father (x2)

I am broken,

But I am hopin',

Daughter to father (x2)

I am cryin',

A part of me's dyin'.

She pictured him living happily with another, younger woman and loving two beautiful children that weren't her and her brother. She felt broken every time she pictured the scene in her head but she couldn't help but hold some hope in thinking that it might not be true. It was after all a scene conjured up by her imagination. Nevertheless her tears decided to fall. Each tear represented a small slice of her life. Slowly, slowly a part of died, until she wouldn't be able to take it anymore. Sharpay opened her eyes and wiped her tears away. She pulled out her pink notebook out of her stand and began to write.

These are,

These are,

The confessions.

Of a broken heart.

She flipped back a few pages and re-read her previous entries. This book was like her diary; no it was much more than that. These entries were her confessions. The confessions of a broken, damaged heart. She had written every single feeling she had felt every single year. Some day, when it was complete, she was going to locate her father and deliver it to him. She wanted him to feel guilty and her book of confessions was the only way to do that. She closed her notebook and put it back where it belonged. Ready for the next year and the next entry. She stood up and walked over to the closet.

And I wear all your old clothes,

Your polo sweater.

She searched at the back of her closet and pulled out the oldest item of clothing she owned. Her father's old polo sweater, the only thing she had left that showed that he had actually been in her life. It was like a piece of evidence, showing that he used to live there and was her father. She took hold of it and let the familiar cigar scent flow through her body. She closed her eyes and let the memories flood her mind. Each and every single memory had one thing in common. The polo sweater. Sharpay snapped out of her trance and quickly stuffed the polo sweater back into the closet. If Darby found it, she would cry and never stop. If Ryan found it he would run out, get drunk and end up bringing along a friend for the night. Sharpay had kept the polo sweater hidden from them, like a secret and only let it out when she needed it.

I dream of another you,

One who would never?

Never leave me alone,

To pick up the pieces.

She fell back onto her bed and daydreamed about her father. But the father in her dream was different. This father would take Darby in his arms and whisk away the tears. He would snatch the bottle off Ryan and kick his 'friend' out, telling him that everything would be alright. Her dream Dad would never leave her alone to pick up the broken pieces that were now her family. He would never throw his responsibility onto her. Putting her family back together whilst she was broken wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do.

Daddy to hold me,

That's what I needed,

So why'd you have to go? (x2)

She knew that her dream Dad would never let her deal with anything alone; he would hold her tightly and assure her that everything was fine and she was always going to be his 'Little Princess'. That was what she needed, but when she opened her eyes it was what she didn't have. Sharpay hugged herself as she curled up into a ball and began to cry.

Daughter to father (x2)

I don't know you,

But I still want to.

Daughter to father (x2)

Tell me the truth,

Did you have love me?

Sharpay's tears fell freely down her face and she wasn't making a move to stop them. She was just thinking of her father. The one she didn't want to know, but still wanted to. By why? Why did she want to know him when he clearly wanted nothing to do with her? Sharpay battled it out in her head, making up as many excuses as she could before coming to the question she really wanted to ask. Did he ever love her? Did he ever love her brother? Did he even love their mother? Sharpay cried even more when she realized the truth. If he had ever loved them, he would've stayed.

Cause these are,

These are,

The confessions,

Of a broken heart (x2)

Sharpay lifted her head as she stood up, the door creaked and Ryan was standing in front of her.

"He doesn't love us?" Her lips trembled as she spoke. Ryan sighed and walked over to her. Doing what he did every year. Comforting her.

"I don't know Shar..." He spoke truthfully, he didn't want to lie to her, and he didn't want to be like his father. "But you love him. So that counts, right?" Ryan asked as he wiped her tears away.

"You don't...love him?" Sharpay asked another question in return.

"If he makes you and Mom cry like this, then no...I don't love my own father. One who doesn't write or call just to tell is whether he's alive or not. No, I don't love him." Ryan spoke with strength but Sharpay could detect a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Well I love him, even if he doesn't love us." She said.

I love you (x4)

Daughter to father (x2)

I don't know you,

But I still want to.

Daughter to father (x2)

Tell me the truth,

Did you ever love me?

Sharpay wiped away her tears for the hundredth time.

"I just want him to contact us. That's all." She told her brother.

"I know so do I...that's not much to ask for." Ryan agreed, glancing up as if he was making a silent prayer.

"Ry I just don't want every... father's day, birthday, Christmas etcetera to be so depressing. It's like we can't function without him." She admitted sadly.

"Yeah but we're getting there. Mom is slowly going back to normal. Dating again, being careful and being our mother. You're no longer a stone cold bitch. You have wonderful friends and I have been cleared of the gay status..." He said, wincing a little. 'So as you can tell we're doing fine." Ryan said as he led Sharpay out of her room and down the stairs. They reached the end of the staircase and were met by their mother. Derby was crying and trembling. A letter was in her hand.

"You didn't pick it up...I did." She said, her voice quivering. She showed the twins the letter and they looked at each other in surprise.

And I wait,

For the Postman,

To bring me a letter.

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**Aw, bless. This is just a one-shot! The end was a bit of a cliffy though.**

**Anyway you know the drill =) Please review, thanks a billion for reading =)  
**


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